Married men intimacy in Sri Lanka is being affected by financial stress, work fatigue and digital habits, according to counsellors.
COLOMBO — Psychological counsellors are reporting growing concerns over reduced sexual and emotional intimacy among some married couples in Sri Lanka, with financial pressure, work-related fatigue and excessive smartphone use identified as contributing factors.
A Daily Mirror report citing counsellors said the trend was particularly noticeable among married men between the ages of 35 and 45.
According to the report, about 80% of people seeking counselling for marital difficulties are women, with many complaining that their husbands have gradually withdrawn from intimate relationships after marriage.
The figure should be interpreted carefully. It refers to people seeking counselling in the context described by the report and should not be read as evidence that 80% of married women in Sri Lanka experience the problem.
Mental and Financial Pressure Affecting Relationships
Counsellors said physical exhaustion had traditionally been associated with reduced intimacy, but growing psychological pressure faced by men was increasingly affecting relationships.
Financial demands associated with maintaining a household, workplace competition, children’s education and other family responsibilities can create sustained mental strain.
Prolonged stress can also affect sexual wellbeing. Stress and anxiety may contribute to a reduced sex drive, while relationship difficulties, depression, certain medications and some physical health conditions can also affect libido.
For couples experiencing changes in intimacy, this means the underlying cause may be considerably more complex than a loss of attraction or affection.
Sri Lanka’s cost-of-living pressures were identified in the report as one factor that may be contributing to stress within households.
Smartphones Can Create Emotional Distance
Digital habits are another concern highlighted by counsellors.
Excessive smartphone and device use can reduce meaningful communication between spouses when screen time begins to replace conversation and shared time.
The report also raises concerns about frequent exposure to online pornography, with counsellors suggesting that it can create unrealistic expectations about sexual relationships for some individuals.
They further observed that some men may increasingly seek forms of immediate gratification that do not involve the emotional responsibilities and effort required in a relationship.
Such behaviour should not, however, be assumed to explain every case of reduced intimacy. Sexual desire varies considerably between individuals and can change because of psychological, relationship, lifestyle or medical factors.
Reduced Intimacy Does Not Necessarily Mean Less Love
Counsellors cautioned couples against immediately interpreting a decline in sexual intimacy as evidence that a spouse has lost interest, affection or attraction.
Stress, exhaustion, emotional difficulties and problems that have not been recognised or discussed may instead be contributing to the change.
Open communication between spouses is therefore important, particularly when changes in intimacy persist or begin to cause distress within the relationship.
Professional counselling may also help couples identify underlying emotional or relationship problems and discuss them in a structured setting.
Where a significant or unexplained reduction in sexual desire persists, medical assessment may also be appropriate because physical conditions, mental health difficulties and medications can affect libido.
Counsellors warned that leaving relationship problems unaddressed for prolonged periods could deepen conflict between spouses and, in some cases, contribute to marital breakdown or separation.
Rather than treating reduced intimacy as a problem with a single explanation, couples are encouraged to communicate openly and seek appropriate professional support when difficulties persist.
